The Perfecter Pump

We’ve all seen the commercial. Jerry Seinfeld drives into a gas station and watches some shmuck fill up for $20.03 worth of gas. He then goes and does the “perfect pump”: twenty dollars, even. Well, if that is a perfect pump, then I have a perfecter pump.

The set-up: I need gas, I am thirsty, and I have only three five dollar bills and some spare change. I pull in to the gas station, grab the nozzle, and start pumping. I watch as the meter grows and grows, and at the perfect moment, I stop. It reads: $13.40. I walk in and grab a 600mL bottle of Coke, get to the cashier, show him the drink, and, while he rings it in, I pull out the three fivers and throw them haphazardly onto the counter. I turn for the door as he looks at the readout. “Fifteen even, eh?” he says with an impressed tone. I don’t look back as I head out the door, maintaining that mystique. I get to the car, and I drive off into the sunset.

Yes, that surely was the perfecter pump.

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