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Staircase of Wonders

Max Requirements

Microsoft releases Max. A free photo organization app not at all unlike Apple’s iPhoto or (Ballmer: “I will kill”) Google’s Picasa, but late and with more Microsoft. Worry not, though, because this piece of software is not made by robots, as they boldly say right there on the site.

That seems like an odd thing to mention. The kind of thing robots would say to mislead the general public. But they might be right. After seeing this new product that is not like any other product (but actually a heck of a lot like iPhoto or Picasa) come out after their competitor’s products, I can only conclude that they are actually clones. Possibly with cybernetic implants. So, not robots, but close enough on the evil future overlord scale.

I can’t comment on the actual merits of the software, as I have no need for such a tool (and if I did, Picasa works fine enough.) If I did need this, though, I think I’d choose something with slightly more realistic requirements. It’s not that I don’t meet the system requirements — I do — but a fucking photo app shouldn’t be recommending a 2.4 GHz processor and 512 MB of RAM. To compare:

Microsoft Max (photo organization)

  • 1.0 gigahertz (GHz) processor.
  • 256 megabytes (MB) of RAM.
  • 200 MB of available hard disk space.
  • Super VGA (800 x 600) resolution monitor.

Google Picasa (photo organization)

  • PC with 300MHz Pentium processor and MMX technology.
  • 64 MB RAM (128MB Recommended)
  • 50 MB available hard disk space (100MB recommended)
  • 800 x 600 pixels, 16 bit color monitor.

Half-Life 2 (full 3D game with physics and AI)

  • 1.2 GHz Processor
  • 256MB RAM
  • DirectX 7 capable graphics card

Microsoft’s photo organization app: slightly less system intensive than Half-Life 2. No wonder Vista is going to be a major system hog, they can’t even get their photo software to be light. Screw that.

Comments (1)

chmmr writes (September 14th, 2005 at 16:09):

Microsoft Reverse Psychology 2005!

I AM AN ROBORT! “COMPETITION” == DOES NOT COMPUTE!

Re: system requirements: dude, don’t talk shit about Vista if you haven’t seen it in action. There’s this part when you bring up Task Manager to change your password, and an alien gunship gets blown to pieces by rocket fire and smashes into a huge pile of car husks, with debris flying in every direction. The HDR lighting effects the explosions create on titlebars are INTENSE.

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Max Requirements posted on Wednesday, September 14th, 2005 (16:09)
and labeled under: Photos.

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